Saturday 22 October 2011

i just read a few posts back and omg i am the lamest being ever to grace this earth with my presence

blogging an stuff

whooops accidentally posted before writing anything


The best thing about this blog is that nobody reads it, so I can post whatever the fuck I want and not give a shit about what they will think of me. btw if you're reading this gtfo


Today I went to see "We Need to Talk About Kevin" with la famille. It was really horrible but good. A few times when Kevin is small he makes this noise when his mother is talking which basically means "blahblahblahshutupwhyareyoutalkingtome". After the film, we were in a restaurant and I was talking. We were talking about the word "ostensible" and it wasn't particularly interesting but it was better than the preceding silence. I was probably dragging out the conversation for longer than necessary but as I said, it was better than the preceding silence. Then James started going "blah blah blah" etc. I didn't hear him, but then my parents both started making that noise like Kevin makes. I was like "wtf" and it was explained to me that James had started it and they were just "remembering the film" as opposed to making a direct decision to use the noise to express how they feel about me (i.e. that they really really really hate me so much that it makes them want to shoot a bunch of kids with a crossbow). I know (hope) none of them actually meant anything by it but omg it just made me feel like ugh nobody cares what i have to say nobody wants to have to go through the chore of listening to me speak why the fuck do i even bother i actually genuinely should just kill myself and save them all the trouble. So then I didn't really say anything else and eventually started crying and tried not to make it too obvious and then Mum tried to sit next to me but then I was like no don't do that and that was probably quite hurtful but she didn't seem hurt and anyway i don't want her to spend half an hour trying to get me to tell her what's wrong when i have to keep my mouth shut cause if i tried to speak my voice would go all broken and whiny and nobody wants to hear that

so yeah that (I) probably spoiled the evening for everyone

i wish i didn't have such a problem with people being interested in what i say


i remember when dad asked me if i realised how dislikeable i was (am)

selfpityselfpityselfpity

Monday 17 October 2011

lolololol self-improvement blogging

Sooo
This week Imma try to go to bed before 10pm every day.
Also tomorrow I'm going to finish the S2 book and do my differentiation homework.
yussss

Tuesday 16 August 2011

I woke up at 1:30 and did shit all for the rest of the day. So not the best day ever or anything.

I posted a Lookbook and it got 0 hype so that's good.

I don't understand Myspace.

I would like to ship Drarry, but Harry Potter is the most awkward character to ship anyone with. The problem is, there are no other males I want to ship Draco with. And as Tom Felton is the hottest bitch ever, I feel I need to ship him with someone. It's a dilemma.

Bye.

Tuesday 26 July 2011

Bleh

Still haven't really done anything productive, but I'm going out tomorrow for a friend's birthday so I will at least make use of the day. I'm looking forward to it as well; should be fun :)

I've spent the last few hours internet shopping without actually buying anything. So I guess internet window shopping. Which was fun. I really need to get a job so that I can actually afford things I want. But I'm so lazy D: and probably would struggle to get a job in the first place.

I hope that at some point in my life I'm in a position where I have the time and freedom to do whatever the fuck I want. At the moment, though granted I probably have a lot more time than I make use of, I constantly have stuff I need to be doing. I don't feel like I have time to start the projects that I get excited for, so they never move past the idea stage into reality. I wanna take a gap year to give me time to do stuff. But it'll have to be after university because otherwise I won't get into university, and even then I don't know where I'll get the money from. Sigh.

Anyway, enough depressing hopelessness. Tomorrow I will get up at 9am and I will not open Google chrome at all (besides now, as it's technically tomorrow already). Yes that is a good aim.

I'll post again in two days as I am at a sleepover tomorrow night. 'Cause I know you're all dying to hear from me again ;)

Keep smiling c:
xo

Monday 25 July 2011

Lack of productivity and Harry Potter

Well. I had a list of three things to do today: tidy my room, read the part of "Relativity: the Special and General Theory" that's relevant to my EPQ, and start posting on this new Remus/Sirius tumblr I made. I didn't do any of those things xD

I started tidying my room and then decided to start reading the Einstein book and finish later, then I got a few chapters into the book and my brother suggested going climbing. I hadn't been climbing since February and I was like "eh it's not the best time", then I was like "eh it'll never be the best time", so I went. It was good; I enjoyed it. I have realised that I am already behind and this is the first day I planned to do anything for the EPQ. Which sucks.

Anyway. Umm. Yeah Harry Potter was good. I almost cried, which is an extreme emotional reaction for me. When Neville single-handedly killed all those death eaters and when he spoke up about it not mattering that Harry was dead. I love Neville. Also generally when you saw everyone banding together in the battle of Hogwarts. I am like a proud mother. I didn't like how they did the scene where Voldemort dies. In the book that was in front of everyone and it was very climactic and stuff, but in the film it was just like "oh, so he's dead now". And I don't like the fact that only Harry saw it, because as far as everyone else is concerned it might not have happened. All they have to go on is Harry's word. I just feel that it would be better if everyone saw it with their own eyes.

Also, this film made me think that it was a bad idea to split the last book in two, because you're dropped straight into the plot and it's a bit confusing when you haven't seen the first half for ages. Also, the whole film was very tense and there were no light-hearted moments. I think that took something away somehow: the final climax doesn't seem as dramatic when the whole film has been really dramatic already. It's like, you need to take the tension away for a while so the audience really feel the tension in the final moments. But anyway. What do I know? :P

And Black Swan. Man that is like the scariest film I have ever seen. I mean I have watched horror films and stuff but eurgh. It's just so horrible. Eww eww eww. Yeah. I don't want to talk about it in depth lol. It was really good, but not really my kind of film.

Okay I need to go to sleep. Tomorrow I will finish the things I meant to finish today. Yes.

Thanks for reading <3