Saturday 22 October 2011
blogging an stuff
whooops accidentally posted before writing anything
The best thing about this blog is that nobody reads it, so I can post whatever the fuck I want and not give a shit about what they will think of me. btw if you're reading this gtfo
Today I went to see "We Need to Talk About Kevin" with la famille. It was really horrible but good. A few times when Kevin is small he makes this noise when his mother is talking which basically means "blahblahblahshutupwhyareyoutalkingtome". After the film, we were in a restaurant and I was talking. We were talking about the word "ostensible" and it wasn't particularly interesting but it was better than the preceding silence. I was probably dragging out the conversation for longer than necessary but as I said, it was better than the preceding silence. Then James started going "blah blah blah" etc. I didn't hear him, but then my parents both started making that noise like Kevin makes. I was like "wtf" and it was explained to me that James had started it and they were just "remembering the film" as opposed to making a direct decision to use the noise to express how they feel about me (i.e. that they really really really hate me so much that it makes them want to shoot a bunch of kids with a crossbow). I know (hope) none of them actually meant anything by it but omg it just made me feel like ugh nobody cares what i have to say nobody wants to have to go through the chore of listening to me speak why the fuck do i even bother i actually genuinely should just kill myself and save them all the trouble. So then I didn't really say anything else and eventually started crying and tried not to make it too obvious and then Mum tried to sit next to me but then I was like no don't do that and that was probably quite hurtful but she didn't seem hurt and anyway i don't want her to spend half an hour trying to get me to tell her what's wrong when i have to keep my mouth shut cause if i tried to speak my voice would go all broken and whiny and nobody wants to hear that
so yeah that (I) probably spoiled the evening for everyone
i wish i didn't have such a problem with people being interested in what i say
i remember when dad asked me if i realised how dislikeable i was (am)
selfpityselfpityselfpity
The best thing about this blog is that nobody reads it, so I can post whatever the fuck I want and not give a shit about what they will think of me. btw if you're reading this gtfo
Today I went to see "We Need to Talk About Kevin" with la famille. It was really horrible but good. A few times when Kevin is small he makes this noise when his mother is talking which basically means "blahblahblahshutupwhyareyoutalkingtome". After the film, we were in a restaurant and I was talking. We were talking about the word "ostensible" and it wasn't particularly interesting but it was better than the preceding silence. I was probably dragging out the conversation for longer than necessary but as I said, it was better than the preceding silence. Then James started going "blah blah blah" etc. I didn't hear him, but then my parents both started making that noise like Kevin makes. I was like "wtf" and it was explained to me that James had started it and they were just "remembering the film" as opposed to making a direct decision to use the noise to express how they feel about me (i.e. that they really really really hate me so much that it makes them want to shoot a bunch of kids with a crossbow). I know (hope) none of them actually meant anything by it but omg it just made me feel like ugh nobody cares what i have to say nobody wants to have to go through the chore of listening to me speak why the fuck do i even bother i actually genuinely should just kill myself and save them all the trouble. So then I didn't really say anything else and eventually started crying and tried not to make it too obvious and then Mum tried to sit next to me but then I was like no don't do that and that was probably quite hurtful but she didn't seem hurt and anyway i don't want her to spend half an hour trying to get me to tell her what's wrong when i have to keep my mouth shut cause if i tried to speak my voice would go all broken and whiny and nobody wants to hear that
so yeah that (I) probably spoiled the evening for everyone
i wish i didn't have such a problem with people being interested in what i say
i remember when dad asked me if i realised how dislikeable i was (am)
selfpityselfpityselfpity
Monday 17 October 2011
lolololol self-improvement blogging
Sooo
This week Imma try to go to bed before 10pm every day.
Also tomorrow I'm going to finish the S2 book and do my differentiation homework.
yussss
This week Imma try to go to bed before 10pm every day.
Also tomorrow I'm going to finish the S2 book and do my differentiation homework.
yussss
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